Tag Archives: Obey Mistress

From Mistress´ Diary part 2

July 2014

A few days ago slave B. and I had an argument. The true is that he just wanted to talk while I freaked out. He’s generally a calm person and I’m the exact opposite. He brought me new iMac, a late birthday gift that he could not afford to buy back in April due to other expenses he had at that time.

I wanted to rewrite our Mistress-slave contract to motivate the slave to help me earn my own money rather than give it to me directly in the form of regular tributes. He could achieve this through referrals and advertisements he would place on my websites, some of which would need to be built from scratch.

Unfortunately the slave was not interested to sign the new contract as he wanted to cancel the tributes altogether and immediately despite of the fact that he never completed any of the projects he was assigned in December 2012 while we were on holidays in Portugal.

I know he’s generally quite busy with work but I also know that often it is time mismanagement rather than anything else. When I first started training him, some of the session reports he was supposed to write for me were seriously delayed. At the same time he was seeing his ex girlfriend relatively often. That time could had been spent working for me. I could come with other examples like this but the point was already made. To be fair, he has done a lot of work for me over the years, including having built a few websites for me, promoting my services, book, writing the Diary and much more. One cannot expect people to always deliver, not even when those people are slaves.

However, what do you do, as a Mistress, when the slave decides to make his own rules all of a sudden? If that happens with a new slave, you just dismiss him. What do you do when the slave has been serving you very well for a few years and you have grown to like him? That is a horrible situation, one that has no solution. I have always seen the power exchange element of our relationship as the most important one, very closely followed by the extraordinary connection we seemed to have from day 1. No doubt some of the connection is linked to the power exchange itself but not all of it is. Even when we do nothing femdom related, it is still there.

The second part of the argument was also money related. The slave scolded me for having spent too much money on his credit cards recently. Although I have full access to his bank accounts, I have never actually logged in and we have not talked about his budget as much or as often as we should have. Typically I would only use the card to pay for books and cosmetics, but I did feel the need to buy some clothes and shoes for the new flat as I wanted to avoid the hassle of packing / unpacking and having to travel with a suitcase each month, taking the risk that something might be missing when needed. In the hindsight, I should had just coped with it for a few months and buy it later. In the hindsight, he should had politely asked me to stop using the cards for a while once he felt there was not enough money available. I would had understood. 

When B. asked whether we were having a professional relationship, I just lost it. I could not believe how insecure he was. I’m a short fuse person and I just ended up throwing both credit cards at his feet. I thought it was all escalating in a really bad direction so I told him to take his credit cards and the expensive birthday gift he just gave me an hour ago and to leave my house. He was somehow reluctant to leave but I assured him that we would meet the next day after I had the opportunity to calm down. Eventually he left. The iMac and the credit cards remained in my house.

The true is that it was the slave´s idea to give me the first credit card, online banking details etc. I say: Don´t give a person a box of matches to play with just to call “Fire” later. Metaphorically speaking, I could had burnt the whole house down if I wanted to. 

Some of the frustration I felt and still feel was related to the fact that the slave´s servitude is not as consistent anymore as it once was. Things like a bit of promotion on Twitter take hardly any time and are clearly beneficial for me. There was almost none of it recently. I also realized that we don´t chat on Skype very often anymore. On top of that, B. generally acts far less submissive towards me these days than he did in the past. Clearly, he is not as motivated as he used to be. I also feel that he acted too judgmental towards me without having acknowledged what had gone wrong on his side.

From B.´s journal – part 7

October 5, 2012

During the conference today, I exchanged several emails with Mistress. Most of them were about a fur coat that She wants to get. I have to say, it would be awesome if She had one. Some time ago She got a silver fox collar from me which looks amazing on Her. I think it would totally blow my mind to see Her in a soft fur coat. During the last couple of months my financial situation hasn´t been good. My major client owes me a large amount that he was due to pay 6 or 7 weeks ago. As a consequence, it seems we won´t be able to go to Residenz Avalon this month as we have planned. Mistress is getting annoyed with the situation now and today She sent me this message: If things don´t improve pretty fast, I will need to start offering you to my clients for dick sucking and other services to earn us the money that way. How would you like it? I´m pretty confident there would be a lot of demand for an obedient, exotic looking, slim slave with great oral skills. I was shocked when I read this. I think I read it three or four times. I tried to concentrate on the presentation but it was impossible. Her words echoed through my mind. What can I do? I toil for Mistress and besides that I´m also working hard to earn money but the project I´m working on now will only start earning me something substantial in November. I really didn´t know what to say.

After about forty minutes I couldn´t take it anymore, I had to respond. I begged my Mistress to give me some more time to make this right again. I pleaded with Her not to rent me out. Later on Mistress replied. She had found two fur collars that She wanted to have. She accompanied the links with the following text: You would only need to suck two clients to be able to afford them. Maybe we should seriously consider this option. I felt a shiver ran down my spine. She had done it again. From time to time She toys with me like this, mentioning things She knows I would hate to do, whereas the fact that She would make me do it excites me very much. This combination of excitement and repulsion just drives me mad and makes me feel even more submissive towards my Owner. The fact that She knows I´ll do anything for Her makes these remarks so powerful.

October 30, 2012

I was supposed to send Mistress a few ideas as what I can cook for Her during Her next stay with me. Yesterday I asked Mistress whether She liked any of the pasta dishes I had sent Her earlier, but She did not approve of any of those. Mistress wants something more special of course. Today I did not have much time to search for recipes so Mistress got impatient and gave me clear instructions as to what She expected to be served. Mistress also casually informed me that She would sort out my clothes. That means that She will go through my wardrobe and make two heaps of garments – approved and disapproved ones. I have a strong feeling that the “approved” pile will be very small, since Mistress generally doesn´t like the way I dress. Her grip on my life tightens again. She had already made it very clear that I am not to buy any clothes that She doesn´t personally choose for me.

On Sunday, when I was masturbating, I used a calliper to measure my cock for Mistress. She had already measured it once before but now She wanted to know what the difference in circumference is when I wear a cock ring and when I don´t. Without the cock ring the girth turned out to be 11.3cm. That is definitely far below Mistress´ standards. Today Mistress allowed me to play with myself while wearing the ring. I assured Her that I would not cum, because I´m not allowed to.

One of the reasons why Mistress didn´t lock me up this time before She left The Netherlands was to enable me to take the measurements. The other one was that I was a bit ill and She thought I would recover faster if I was comfortable. So I stroked my cock a bit while watching one of Mistress´ videos in order to maximize the size. When I thought it was at its full capacity, I slid the calliper around the shaft again. The girth was then almost 13cm.That is about the average according to the statistics I told Mistress, but Mistress reminded me that average is not good enough for Her. Of course. Now I am supposed to test a vacuum pump to see whether the figure will change again. Slowly the blood found its way back to my body and I could calm down a bit knowing that I had accomplished the task for my Mistress. When I was finally able to remove the cock ring, I received another email from my Owner:  It´s sex time now ;-). Oh wow. She had told me that during the weekend She would inform me when She was about to be pleasured by another man, and this was the first time. My cock was rock hard again within seconds. Mistress surely knows how to keep my excited.

November 9, 2012

Mistress and I meet really often these days. She had arrived to Holland again to spend a few days with me. Unfortunately we both have a bit of cold so we agreed that we would skip the planned session. That means that next time there will be two to make up for the missed opportunity. I am already full of anticipation, especially because Mistress had informed me, with a twinkle in her eye, that She had ordered a few rather vicious toys to tease and torture me with. I have no clue what those might be and She´s certainly not going to tell me as there is nothing else Mistress likes better than to surprise and amaze me during our play-time. We both love to session in the dungeons but we also enjoy real-life servitude very much. This time Mistress has decided to go through my wardrobe and sort my clothes. Garments that She doesn´t like will need to be disposed off or donated to charity. She may then decide to take me to the shops and choose some new clothes for me. I have no right to decide what to buy. She´s in charge of this, as well as many other aspects of my life.

Sessions

I have created a special page for real life sessions and tried to make it as descriptive as possible including detailed instructions how to book a session, activities not on offer etc. I hope those who prefer face to face meetings find this improvement helpful.

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