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K.’s journal part 5

My absence, return & visit to Prague

It is a long time since I wrote my last journal. Before I write about my trip to Prague to visit Mistress Arella, I need to take you back to October/November 2015. Up until then I had been a fairly well behaved slave enjoying my servitude to my Mistress. I believe She had been fairly happy with the regular gifts I spoiled Her with and my general enthusiasm of being Her personal slave.

Unfortunately due to reasons out of my control I had to go abroad for some time. I had intended to email my Mistress when I arrived at my destination, however due to the remote area it was very difficult to gain access to the internet so could only contact Her on my return to the UK in the first week of January 2016. Mistress was not pleased that She did not hear from me for 4 months and advised me to sort out any personal issues before She would even consider allowing me to serve Her again. My heart sunk, I thought I may never be allowed to see my Mistress again. The one thing in my life that makes me truly happy I had ruined. Just one brief email could have saved disappointing my Mistress. I knew then that I had made a big mistake and unlike the real me, had come across rude and ungrateful.

I took Mistress Arella’s advice and sorted out the personal issues in my life by February 2016, however there were a few other things I needed to do before contacting my Mistress again, one of which was revealing to my wife I had a double life. One night the opportunity arose to admit to her that I visit pro dommes. My need to session was so strong that I needed to tell her, so that in my next session with Mistress Arella I could submit fully with no limits and be able to be marked on my body with whips / canes and whatever other implements Mistress wishes to use on me, without me having to worry or feel guilty. Amazingly although my wife had her concerns she said she will allow me to visit Mistress Arella. This was fantastic news.

I quickly set up a new Twitter account as my previous account had also disappeared. It was going to take a lot of begging and spoiling Mistress Arella to regain her trust and to show I was serious about being her personal slave.

Thankfully for me after a number of gifts and daily begging, Mistress Arella responded that I was never actually fired as Her personal slave. In a way I think She may have actually enjoyed seeing me beg everyday and of course enjoyed the gifts I would regularly send to Her.

Fast forward to September 2016. Mistress Arella tweeted that She needed a weekend of spoiling, preferably in a 5* hotel, with Spa treatments & possibly culminating with a photoshoot. I quickly offered to pay for this and thankfully Mistress accepted my offer. From Her tweets during that weekend I could see it was money well spent and the resulting photos were amazing. Mistress Arella looked more beautiful & sexy than ever before. This quickly got me thinking that I must see Her again and session with Her asap. Mistress in fact decided Herself that I should come and see Her in November. Being told by my Mistress that I must come and serve Her made me feel owned once again, which is an amazing feeling. I jumped at the chance and booked my flights. I wanted to make sure that the hotel I booked was guaranteed to be acceptable to Mistress Arella and easily accessible in a good location. I decided to book myself the same 5* hotel which Mistress Arella had stayed at just a few weeks prior to my visit.

Having made the booking, I now had to wait almost a month for the trip. I was counting down the days. The weekend finally arrived. I was up early to travel to the airport and get my flight, I was of course very excited.

On my arrival in Prague, I checked into the hotel and awaited Mistress Arella’s arrival. Within minutes I saw Her arrive. She did of course look amazing as usual. As She entered my room, I could see there was an element of disappointment. She told me the room was not as big or as well laid out as the room she stayed in, and as a result some of the things she had planned for the session she would not be able to do. She would need to improvise and try to be as creative as possible.

Before Mistress Arella went to change into Her sexy outfit, She ordered me to remove my clothes and await Her return. On Her return I could see She was wearing the black bodysuit She had worn in Her recent photoshoot. It showed off Her figure perfectly. Mistress Arella immediately started slapping my face while criticising the fact I had wasted money on booking such a luxurious room for myself, when really I should be booking a basic room and using my money to spoil Her. Of course She is correct and I told Her I will not make the same mistake again. My first task was to clean Her knee-high leather boots with the hotel supplied shoe cleaning kit. At first I was unable to find it so Mistress said I would need to phone room service and ask them to bring one. Thankfully after a bit more searching it was Mistress who found it. She had asked me to purchase a Donald Trump mask, as She knew that would make Her extra furious if I were to wear it. I kneeled in front of Her with the mask on, eagerly polishing Her boots & She promptly took a photo of this and tweeted it for the world to see. As I was working, Mistress Arella started to question me over my absence. She wanted to hear the whole story. When I mentioned I spent almost 10k sorting my issue out, She got so angry with me that She poured Her drink on my head. Yes, 10 k would buy all the items on all Mistress´wish lists and more. I could certainly understand Her anger.

After I wiped the water off the floor Mistress Arella noticed I had some chocolate biscuits in the room. She crushed them under her heal and ordered me to eat them from Her heal and to lick up the crumbs on the floor while telling me off for eating such unhealthy snacks. I was then ordered to lay on my back on the bed. Mistress tied me tightly with rope so I was completely helpless. I was now at Her complete mercy.

I had recently purchased a small whip for my Mistress, this had metal chains on the end of it. Mistress Arella started to whip my cock and balls, each time it hit my balls the pain was immense. As She was whipping me, She was telling me how small my cock was and how out of shape my body was. She said no woman would find me attractive and that my wife surely doesn’t like my body either. She went on to say that my wife probably has a lover as I am so inadequate. The worrying thing is that Mistress Arella is always right so all what She was saying to me could easily be true.

My cock was then placed in a chastity device. Mistress Arella promptly went to the bathroom. She told me the keys had been flushed down the toilet. I thought She is probably bluffing but maybe She is getting revenge for my absence. She then stuffed a wet flannel that She brought from the bathroom in my mouth and used a lot of tape to hold it in position. There I was tied to the bed, unable to to speak, locked in chastity. Mistress told me that She could leave me here for room service to find me in this pathetic state.

She decided, however, that I needed more punishment. This consisted of more CBT, hot candle wax being dripped all over my body, paying particular attention to my cock and balls. Mistress next sat on my face. As I had not session in over a year I was a bit out of practice, with the flannel in my mouth and Mistress Arella ‘s bottom covering my face I was struggling to breathe and was making all types of noises of discomfort. Mistress Arella continued to sit on my face, allowing brief moments where I could catch my breath. I felt I was in heaven.

Mistress Arella knows that one of my big fantasies is to be kidnapped by Her. Although She has previously stated that this is not really Her thing, She did hint that it could be a possibility in the future. This did make my cock twinge a little as the chastity device started to feel tighter & tighter. After this punishment I was ordered to lay on my stomach, again I was restrained with rope. Mistress Arella proceeded to whip me , whilst doing so She questioned me over my recent purchase of my luxury car. She told me I should not have bought such an expensive car and instead of wasting my money, should have been using all my spare money to spoil Her.

After my various forms of punishment Mistress released me & set me my next task, to find the keys to my chastity device. I was relieved to hear She did not flush them down the toilet after all. She gave me a 10 minute limit, I searched high and low throughout the room whilst Mistress Arella lay on the bed in amusement at my pathetic attempts. The time limit had elapsed and I had to resign myself to the fact that I will need to remain in chastity until Mistress Arella chooses to release me. I was then ordered to kiss Mistress´feet. I removed Her right boot and as I was enjoying kissing Her foot, Mistress took great delight in giving me small hints of where the keys might be. She asked “Where is the last place you would think the keys would be? No, they are not in my panties or bra”. So I answered “Handbag”? She laughed. I came up with a few more stupid answers while She kept saying to me to think outside the box. I could not think. As I removed Her other boot, I heard a small jingle but thought nothing of it, silly me. Mistress then reveals that the keys were hidden right there inside that boot. Very clever I thought, I would never have thought of actually searching Mistress Arella and in fact even knowing this fact I don’t think I would have the courage to search Her in any future sessions. I proceeded to kiss Her left foot.

The session had come to an end and I felt something that only a sub/slave can fully understand, a feeling of contentment of having served my Mistress and my feel good endorphins were running wild in my body. I had just served my Mistress for the first time in a long time, I was as happy as happy gets.

I had offered to take Mistress Arella to a fine-dining restaurant which She had chosen. It was next door to the hotel so we were there in seconds. It was nice to finally have a relaxing meal with my Mistress/Owner and have an interesting conversation catching up with what Mistress Arella has been doing since I last saw her. Did I mention I was still locked in chastity? This too is an amazing feeling being locked in chastity with my Owner enjoying a lovely meal. We were in the restaurant for almost 2 hours and I treasure every moment, every second that I can spend with my Mistress, it is where I am happiest. All good things have to come to an end. Mistress Arella was picked up by taxi, taking the keys to my cock cage with Her while I was left to return to my room.

On Sunday morning when I woke up, something didn’t seem quite right. To my amazement, embarrassment and disappointment I noticed that my chastity device had slipped off whilst I was sleeping. Mistress Arella was right, my cock is tiny, how could it have slipped out of the device? This was going to take some explaining. We had arranged to meet at 2pm and Mistress Arella gave me a quick phone call to let me know she was a couple of minutes away.

Mistress had arranged to hire a dungeon for this session. The owner of the place is another Prague domme, tall blonde and attractive. As we entered the building we had to go in an elevator, that could only comfortably fit in 2 people, 3 at a stretch. I offered to take the stairs but was told it was ok to use the lift with both Mistresses. This could be many slaves fantasy to be trapped in a elevator with 2 beautiful Mistresses, however my mind was firmly focused on serving Mistress Arella alone and in fact I don’t think I would ever want a double domme session. Mistress Arella is all I need in my life.

We entered the dungeon. As I was getting undressed, I had to explain that my chastity device had slipped off. Mistress was not impressed as She had wanted me to be begging for release during the session. She accused me of removing the chastity device during the night so I could masturbate. This honestly was not the case but I was to be punished anyway. Mistress ordered me to put leather cuffs on my wrists and ankles, my hands were secured to an overhead beam and my ankles fastened together so I could not move. The Trump mask was placed over my face in a way that I could not see a thing. I felt some hard blows on my bottom and thighs that felt like they were administered by a wooden spoon or paddle. This lasted for about 5 min, after that Mistress took the mask off again, released my hands and asked me to secure Her stockings to the suspender belt that She was wearing underneath a see-through animal print dress She changed into while I was blindfolded.

I was then told to bend over a spanking horse. My arms were secured and Mistress chose a cane to use on me. Again this was very painful and I knew I would have cane marks etched on my body. I accepted my punishment as a slave should, without complaint.

Mistress then secures me to a bondage chair. Nipple clamps are applied and She proceeds to whip my upper legs as well as my cock and balls. Weights are attached to the nipple clamps. My nipples are now feeling very sore. I am at Her full mercy. One of Mistress Arella’s favourite forms of punishment is digging Her long sharp nails into my nipples. For a slave like myself with very sensitive nipples, this is both very painful and very pleasurable at the same time. Even a week later Her finger nails are still imprinted in my nipples, such a lovely feeling.

As the next form of punishment Mistress chooses to clamp my cock in a special device. I was stood in the middle of the room, hands secured behind my back, ankles secured in place, cock flattened in the clamp. Severe nipple clamps were applied to my nipples to intensify the experience. Mistress Arella took a small leather whip and proceeded to whip my cock and balls. This was particularly painful when the whip hit the tip of my cock, sometimes she would whip me so fast it would not allow me to catch my breath. I naturally tried to pull away but my cock was securely clamped so my attempts were futile. This feeling is actually amazing, I am in my fantasy position, completely helpless whilst Mistress Arella whips my cock relentlessly. Mistress then picks up Her cane and hits my cock with it a few times.

Mistress then sits down on Her throne to have a drink, whilst I massage Her feet. I love being in this position. It gives me perfect sight of Her beautiful long legs and the occasional flash of Her black panties. Mistress Arella asks if I think I deserve the privilege of masturbating and if so, why. I can only come up with one good reason. To my surprise She orders me to masturbate, my cock is dry and bruised and I struggle to get it hard. She gives me some lube to help the process which quickly has the desired effect. She tells me to let Her know when I am on the point of cumming. I work away to get to this point and tell Her that I am just about to cum. At this point Mistress marches me into the shower and puts the temperature on ice cold to soften my cock again. To be so close to cumming and then be thrown in an ice cold shower is what I deserve. Mistress Arella rarely lets me masturbate during sessions, so really I should have known this would happen.

In a way having a ruined orgasm just reinforces the full control Mistress Arella has over me. It makes the session more intense, I love it. I thought the session has ended but Mistress Arella says it is not over yet. She hands me the panties She wore in the session and says “play with these”. She then takes shower whilst I sniff the panties. I love Mistress Arella’s scent, the scent of my owner, the scent of a real woman. Mistress Arella in the meantime gets changed into a lovely skirt & blouse, wearing Her knee-high leather boots She looks so sexy. Mistress tells me I can take Her panties home as a souvenir which I gratefully accept.

Again Mistress Arella has booked another fine-dining venue, this time a Michelin Star restaurant set on the 27th floor overlooking Prague. This could be considered one of the most romantic settings for a meal out with your girlfriend/wife but I know my place as Mistress Arella’s personal slave. I enjoy being in the company of the most beautiful, sexy woman in the world, enjoying good food and great conversation. It is a time where we can both relax and talk freely about life in general. The perfect ending to a perfect weekend.

I have grown to learn that by serving Mistress Arella I am fulfilling my deepest desires, it is my perfect life and I love every aspect of it. It defines the person I really am. My only regrets are that I did not meet Her sooner. I want to devote my entire life to Her, to be Her number one slave, to be a real slave. I live just to serve my Mistress. Everything else in my life does not even compare.

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Dubai trip 2016

One of my faithful personal slaves invited me to Dubai this month. It had been a while since I travelled so I was very keen to accept the offer. I visited UAE twice previously,  then courtesy of a Saudi and a Kuwaiti fan. However, this time it was less business and more pleasure with me being in charge 24/7 and that is just how I like it.

Upon the arrival the slave picked me up at the airport and took me to a spacious and comfortable hotel apartment. He made me a cup of tea and ordered room service. While I was having dinner, the slave was busy getting me groceries from a nearby supermarket for the next days. He then offered to massage my feet while I was chatting on the phone. He looked so happy while serving me but it was getting late so I decided to send him home and go to bed myself. The slave was begging to be allowed to stay in the apartment overnight but I have strict policy on that.

The next few days we ate both in and out, went shopping and had a hardcore interrogation session. I travelled with almost no props so had to be really creative. I am proud to say that I am so experienced these days that I can make an apartment session as enjoyable as one in a fully equipped dungeon, if not more so. Actually, I got so inspired that I came with a few things I had not done in a session previously and thus surprised not just the slave but myself as well. We both had so much fun.

The slave served me well during the whole trip – prepared my snacks, chauffeured me to places, took pictures for me, ran errands, ironed my clothes, did my pedicure, kept my apartment tidy…. Do I need to continue?

On the last day I noticed the slave was crying. When I asked him about it, he confessed he was very sad about me leaving. The true is, that I quite like to see adult men crying. It is not their pain I find so attractive but rather the intimacy of the moment. In this world of overinflated male egos, a man need to be strong to allow people see him vulnerable and I do admire this strength. There is also something almost feminine about a crying man (as they say “Men don´t cry”) and if I can, as a woman, ever really relate to a man, it would be to a sensitive and an emotional one.

The slave and I briefly talked about the possibility to go on longer holidays together before we said good-bye at the airport. We are yet to discuss any details but I am already very excited about it.
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My exclusive weekend

I have been so busy since spring! Last month I tweeted how much I would want to spend a weekend in a local 5* hotel, doing nothing but relaxing and sleeping. It was more of a wishful thinking than anything else at that time but my personal slave K. immediataly tweeted back: “How much would it be for you to experience that?”. I quickly checked the offers, hoping that K. was not completely drained yet. As it turned out, he was, but new credit card was ordered just to make it happen. He totally keeps surprising and impressing me like this – especially when I don´t expect it at all. On top of the suite, K. also paid for my photoshoot that was arranged to take place there and a few spa treatments in another luxurious hotel. I was getting more and more excited as my chill out weekend was getting closer.

Last Saturday I checked in right after lunch. I don´t get impressed easily but this time I was. I exchanged a few tweets with my slave while sipping the welcome drink to let him know I was happy with my accommodation and was full of anticipation. I have been to many 5* hotels but this one was different, every single detail was oozing pure luxury – the bathroom mosaic, the designer bath tub with mirror-like TV just in front of it, the oriental vases inbuilt in the wardrobe, the shimmering walls, the shiny statue of Buddha sitting peacefully in its alcove, the golden dragon on the red headboard, the Bang and Olufsen audio system, the complimentary crackers…

I changed into a set of beautiful French lingerie, a gift I got from K. last year and a little while later I heard the door bell ring. It was my female photographer accompanied with the concierge who was carrying her equipment. ‘Perfect femdom scene’ I thought. We briefly chatted about what I wanted to achieve while the lights were being positioned and then it was time for some serious work. A few hours later, we had several hundred images that I got on spot but decided to go through them the next day. Now, it was time to relax. After all, this was supposed to be my chill out weekend!

I watched TV while soaking in the bath before going out to get dinner in a creperie just around the corner from the hotel. When I got back, it was already late so I started getting ready for good night´s sleep. The thing is, I just don´t get enough sleep at home these days and I love my beauty sleep! For me, the ideal is 9 hours. Anything shorter just doesn´t feel good enough.

The next day I woke up early. It was so quiet and peaceful in the hotel that I regretted I had to check out by noon. There was hardly anybody in the breakfast room so it felt almost like private dining. I loved that. Back in my suite I decided to go to bed again as the nearby spa I got the gift vouchers for was not open yet. Around 10.00 I started packing, checked out and headed for my massage. The massage – oh my! Why did I only discover this amazing venue recently? Their masseuses are so professional and skilled, the service immaculate. No other spa I have experienced even comes close. This time I went for deep tissue massage hoping my aching back would get fixed. And it did! I do hope to be back soon.

New wish list

I have just revamped my public wish list to make it even easier for you to spoil me! Have a look and treat me to one of the e-gift vouchers listed.

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New interview with me

The amazing Lady Sas of Germany has just published an interview with me on her blog! You can check it out here.

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Picture by charliepycraft.co.uk

Back from the break

This is a great news for all my fans! I shall be, again, available for real time appointments from the end of April onwards. However, I won´t be particularly time flexible, therefore it is strongly recommended that you enquire in some advance (1 week ideally) to avoid possible disappointment. Dungeon sessions with new clients / slaves will be a subject of an upfront deposit that can be paid anonymously. I can only make an exception for those able to supply verifiable references from another established pro domme. Hotel sessions of standard length (up to 2 hrs) will remain deposit free.

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Picture by charliepycraft.co.uk

K.’s journal part 4

My First Visit to Prague
After a lot of thought I decided I should show my true devotion to Mistress Arella by visiting Prague. Mistress Arella had already visited London 3 times within a year. The last time being in March where I spent 4 days exclusively in her company which was more than I could ever dream of, but it was time to show Mistress Arella how serious I am about being her Personal Slave.

The decision to visit Prague is one I did not take lightly, mainly due to the fact I am married and for any married man to visit another country without their wife’s knowledge can be difficult and for some impossible. My planning for the trip had to be perfect. After a few email conversations with Mistress Arella my mind was made up, I therefore booked my flight to Prague.

This is obviously a high risk for me, but my desire to serve Mistress Arella is overwhelming, it is something I must do.

I shall take you back to a conversation I had with my wife a few weeks previously, we were discussing people who cheated on their partners, so I dropped into the conversation “How would you feel if I visited a Pro Domme, no sex involved just me being punished, whipped etc..?” She answered ” I would be devastated”. Obviously I do not want to hurt my wife but I know in my heart that I could never stop serving Mistress Arella and if it came to the choice of choosing between being married or being able to serve my Mistress for life, I would honestly choose serving Mistress Arella. That is what makes me truly happy.

This brings me onto the subject of blackmail, many slaves´ fantasy, but not one of mine. However, this did make me realise although blackmail has never been discussed with my Mistress, she does hold an amazing depth of power over me. If ever I really upset Her, she has my home address, telephone number plus a lot of other information including photos of me in her recent photoshoot. All this could be used to destroy my marriage. Like I mentioned this never needs to be discussed but we both know the power Mistress Arella now has over me.

Lets get back to the main subject, my visit to Prague. The anticipation had been building since I booked the flight ticket. I could hardly sleep the night before my visit, I had to be up at 5am to leave for my flight. Luckily the flight was on time and I arrived in Prague just before midday. I decided to have a quick snack at the airport so not to be too early for our arranged 2pm session. The taxi driver gave me a little fright when he almost dropped me off at another address, but we did eventually find the correct building to my relief.

I was early so decided to go for a walk, my phone was in my bag so I did not realise Mistress Arella had tried to phone me. I phoned her back and she said I could come straight away to the dungeon. On entering the dungeon Mistress looked her usual stunning self, dressed in a leather pencil skirt, white shirt and black stockings. Very smart, office type attire. Beautiful.

In my own fantasy I had hoped Mistress would say “I do not care if your wife finds out, you will be punished and marked severely”. That is my fantasy but in reality, I would never want my wife to find out. Luckily Mistress shows some compassion and says she will not mark me……much.

The session shall be 3 hours long and Mistress tells me to take a shower before we start. As I come out of the shower, in my boxer shorts, Mistress quickly tells me to remove them immediately. I am told to kneel in front of her and a collar is placed on me. I am secured to a cross and blindfolded, Mistress uses the new inflatable gag I bought for her, I am impressed with its quality and feel. She proceeds to attach nipple clamps on me whilst also whipping my erect penis. Weights are added to the nipple clamps and clamps and weights are also added to my balls. The few whip strokes I have already received have bruised my legs and my penis. After what seems like ages I am released from the cross, my arms and hands have pins & needles, but the blood flow soon returns to normal.

My ankles are attached to a bondage device that has an inbuilt, adjustable penis clamp. My cock is tightly secured in place. Mistress then uses the new leather arm binder as well as the bondage hood I recently purchased. The mask has a permanent blindfold and is padded around the ears.  I am now completely helpless, unable to see, hear or move. I am at Mistress Arella’s mercy. The hood is very hot and it is quite hard to breathe. I am relieved when Mistress eventually removes it and releases me from the penis clamp.

The next device to be used is a small table, it has a small circular hole in it, just enough space to fit my penis through. Mistress orders me to lay down underneath the table and place my penis through the hole. She then sits down on the table and reveals the new painful nipple clamps I recently bought. These are very large and are best placed on a slave in the lying down position. I can assure you they are extremely painful, so much that in fact my penis goes completely limp. Mistress looks disappointed as she wanted to administer some CBT to my fully erect cock.

Mistress then tells me I shall receive some flogging over the whipping horse. Due to the no marks rule, Mistress is fairly gentle with me.

I am later told to get up as I am now to be placed in the small cage, while Mistress places the bondage hood on me again. I crawl into the cage and Mistress locks the door. I can faintly hear Mistress talking to me, I believe she is sitting on the throne relaxing and having a drink, whilst watching me pathetically struggle to move in the cage.

I am eventually released from the cage and Mistress orders me to start kissing her shoes and feet. I have never classed myself as a foot fetishist, however Mistress Arella has such beautiful feet, I am fast becoming a big fan of them. I am told to kiss her legs as well, Mistress Arella has the most beautiful long legs and I do find legs one of the most attractive features. I could spend all day worshipping them. I am in heaven. Even more so when she removes her stockings to reveal her soft subtle skin, could this session get any better? Well yes, Mistress asks me to massage her feet & legs, this is what I was born to do, to serve and please my Mistress.

The session is almost coming to an end when Mistress spots some leather cuffs hanging from a chain from the ceiling. She decides to secure me to these for a bit of caning.

After the session Mistress tells me to clean all the equipment that has been used whilst she has a shower. I proceed to clean everything, as usual I make a few mistakes doing this part of the job which Mistress points out as she comes out of the shower. I notice she is dressed in one of the stunning dresses I had bought for her. She looks so beautiful, so hard to imagine that a woman who looks so beautiful & elegant can be such an amazing Pro Domme.

We are due to go to a fine dining restaurant, so I have a quick shower and we order a taxi to the restaurant. As usual Mistress´ choice of restaurant is amazing. The setting is perfect, the menu is appetising and we proceed to have a lovely meal and interesting conversation. The fine dining experiences I have enjoyed with Mistress Arella are truly out of this world. It is where I fully appreciate her qualities not only as a Pro Domme but also as a lovely human being, interesting, witty, just pure elegance & class. How can one woman have it all? Well, Mistress Arella does.

My time with my Mistress is almost at an end, her driver has texted her to say he is outside, my taxi is due shortly to take me to the airport. I feel sad to be leaving but this trip has confirmed to me that I want to be Mistress Arella’s personal slave forever. I just hope I can please her enough so she does not get bored of me. I long to do so much more to please my Mistress, I really will do anything she asks of me, I am going home feeling owned, happy and content in the knowledge that I have shown Mistress Arella that I am serious about my position as her Personal Slave and that I am reliable and can be trusted.

I cannot wait until my next visit to Prague.

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From B.´s journal – part 10

December 14, 2012

Ok, that was a bummer. I arrived at the airport too late and missed my flight to Prague. Fortunately I was  able to book another one for the same day. Mistress and I were supposed to meet in my apartment but because of my delayed arrival She ordered me to come straight to the restaurant that She booked for our dinner. Over the meal Mistress scolded me mercilessly for being so hopeless when it comes to time management and for wasting Her money on the expensive airticket I had to buy to get to Prague at all. She had me trembling during the entire dinner. I didn´t know what to do or say anymore. She really has a firm grip on me mentally. She kept looking at me with Her piercing eyes and I felt weaker every minute. “It seems that you don´t really care, slave”, was one of the things She said to me, but that is really not true. I can´t describe what I feel for Her and I care even more about being allowed to serve Her. My world would end if She ever dismissed me. Even the threat that I am no longer Her number one slave makes me go crazy. Maybe that is what people call jealousy?

Tomorrow morning we will have a session. Mistress told me that She originally had a very pleasant scenario in mind, but some severe punishment will nevertheless have to be included because of how I disappointed Her. I felt, and still feel, so bad for failing Her today. Fortunately we are going to Portugal for Christmas and I will have an entire week there to show Her how devoted I am to Her. There will be no distractions, just me serving Her in any way She sees fit. I am really looking forward to this, not only because I can show Mistress the true slave I really am, but also because I can then finally only focus on Her and Her needs. Now I have too many distractions from work.

Still shaking and completely mentally broken I followed Her to pick our coats up. First I helped Mistress into Her black jacket. She was wearing red blouse, that makes Her curves stand out perfectly and a pair of elegant black trousers. I really like that distinguished look. The high heeled boots made Her just a little bit taller than I was so that way She looked even more dominant. Then our coats were brought. My jaw almost dropped to the floor when I saw how the black mink was draped around Mistress´ slim body. Oh my, the collar of the coat is very, very thick and almost reaches Her cheeks. I was already meek as a little lamb, but the sight of my Mistress standing next to me wearing this marvellous coat almost made me fall to my knees. The way Her perfectly smooth and pale complexion contrasts with the dark mink fur… How Her wonderful, long and shiny brunette Hair lusciously falls over the fur of Her coat… I literally bent my knees but She noticed and urged me to stay on my feet. What a magnificent image! My Goddess, towering over me, enchanting me with Her beauty, power, wisdom and knowledge. It seems there is nothing else for me in this life than serving my Owner.

December 15, 2012

Just a few more meters and I will arrive in the dungeon. It is not even 10.30 in the morning, but from all the stress from yesterday I am totally awake and very alert. All of a sudden a thought crosses my mind. I am not that alert after all, how could I forget??? Mistress ordered me to bring certain props from the Netherlands. I had done that, of course. Yesterday before I went to bed I put everything in one bag and placed that bag on the table in the apartment, to make sure that I wouldn´t forget to bring it to the dungeon. In a flash I see the text message Mistress sent me this morning to remind me not to forget. Oh no!!! I press the knob of the bell with trembling fingers. Yesterday I missed my flight to Prague, and now She will probably have to change the scenario for the session, because I did not bring the toys She wanted to use. As I descend the stairways into the basement, I feel my courage sink to an all-time low. How am I supposed to tell Her this?

Mistress looks more stunning than ever. She is wearing thigh high black boots with very high heels. I look up a bit more to discover that She is also wearing a red latex mini-skirt, black underbust corset and a cropped black top that makes my mouth start watering the moment I notice Her sexy cleavage. We enter the main chamber and I tell Mistress what had happened. She is far from amused, but doesn´t lose Her temper. Without hesitation She orders me to climb on the bondage chair. I always bring my own cuffs because my wrists are very thin, but because I don´t have them this time, Mistress instead attaches ropes to both my wrists and ties me up to the chair. She comes closer to me. I have a perfect view of Her magnificent body that is now being accentuated by the tight latex clothing She is wearing. She leans over a bit and exposes Her sexy cleavage. ”Today I will do things to you that you really don´t like”. Mistress says while pinching my nipples and gently squeezing my balls and cock. I am getting really horny but I also wonder what it could be that I really don´t like, because I actually like everything Mistress does to me, however cruel or brutal it might be.

She grabs a small bottle and sprays some of its content onto my now fully erect cock and also onto my balls. “Oh no”, I utter. This will surely be a very unpleasant punishment. I have only ever told Mistress one thing I really don´t like and it seems that this is exactly what is about to happen to me now. With a daring look in Her eyes, She pierces the skin of my cock with the first needle. I have had really bad experience with this type of play. Back then it was done with regular sewing kit needles. They were sterilized in a flame so not only were they very thick, they were also really hot and not sharp enough. The woman pierced my nipples with several needles and also stuck some really deep into my cock and ball sack. I remember passing out from it. In goes the second needle. “You see how good it is that Mistress knows about the things you hate. How else can I punish you? If I cane you, you will actually enjoy it”. With these words my Mistress pricks the next needle into the foreskin of my cock, and another one. The feeling is actually not bad at all. These needles are very thin and I have to admit that it feels quite nice. I breathe out from relief. This is nothing like what I had experienced before. I know I can trust Mistress with my body entirely, but She did really frighten me for a moment.

After a few minutes Mistress removes all the needles from my cock and ball sack. I shall thank Her for removing the fear of needle play from my psyche. Mistress informs me that I will be in chastity until at least next week, when we go on holidays to Madeira. I know that recently I have miserably failed Her many times, but staying in chastity all this time is so frustrating. It has been two weeks now, which is not too long, but you have to realize that Mistress keeps teasing me on a regular basis, so I am constantly horny without getting any release. I was hoping to be allowed to cum this weekend, also because it is my birthday today, but I am well aware that I don´t deserve it. I am now instructed to work on Mistress´ jacket. There is some kind of fluff coming out from the lining. She hands me the garment with a pair of scissors.  It takes me a bit of time to clean the entire thing and when I say that I think I´m ready, Mistress points out that I forgot to do the sleeves. I swiftly finish the task.

Mistress now tells me to get a collar from the rack at the wall. I pick one but that one is not to Her liking. I crawl back to get another one. This one seems to be too large. Finally I choose one that fits. I kneel down in front of the chair Mistress is sitting on and She places the collar around my neck. Humbly I lower my head and stare at the floor as She does this. From the corners of my eyes I see how She gets up from the chair. Her high heels tick firmly on the stone dungeon floor. Mistress now ties my hands together behind my back with a strong leather strap around each wrist. Next Mistress attaches a rope to my collar and says: “We are going for a little walk. Would you like it if I took you outside like this?”I always find it really hard to answer this type of questions. Images flash through my mind where I see us walking in the snowy streets of Prague. My Mistress, who is wearing Her warm fur coat, pulls me on a leash behind Her. I am totally naked, except of the collar around my neck and the leather straps that keep my wrists bound tightly behind my back. This image turns me on immediately. In my mind I feel so proud to be shown to the world like this but I don´t really dare to admit this to Mistress. I´m always afraid that She will think that my ideas are too perverse or extreme so I struggle with the answer. “I thought you didn´t have any limits, slave?” She asks me. Yes, She is right. I don´t believe in limits, at least not in limits that the slave can come up with. Mistress is the judge of what is acceptable and what is not. In a couple of minutes it becomes clear that we are not going outside but that Mistress will once again lock me up in that dark, damp and cold cellar. She makes me stand with my legs spread apart so they almost touch the walls on both sides. My hands are still secured behind my back and now Mistress also ties my ankles to the rings in the wall. I can move my body, but can´t move my feet anymore, so I have to be careful not to lose balance and fall. Without saying a word, Mistress switches the light off, closes the door and leaves me behind in the pitch black darkness.

I have no idea what is about to happen and all kinds of thoughts cross my mind. A few minutes later Mistress returns. She is holding a flashlight that She points right in my face. The cell is otherwise completely dark so I can hardly see Her. “Last time, during interrogation, I forgot to ask about your Master Plan, slave”. Ai, now it is going to get serious. I always teasingly tell Mistress that I have a Master Plan, but honestly, there is actually a lot of truth in it. I do have quite a few ideas about what I would like us to accomplish and what should happen in the future, but I always keep it a bit of a secret. Partly because I like to tease my Owner, but mainly because I´m afraid to tell Her certain details. “Tell me! What is the Master Plan?!?!”Sometimes I think that Mistress have had military training, because She can be so fierce when She really wants to get some information out of me. I stammer a bit but then tell Her about one of the main goals I have. “I would like to unleash Your full Goddess potential, Mistress. I think there is a true Goddess inside You and I would like You to become Your true self and live like the Superior Queen You are”. There, that was not too hard but I didn´t say anything about my own role in this plan.

The bright light of the flashlight keeps stinging in my eyes as Mistress continues to interrogate me. “Tell me more!”, She orders in a very assertive tone. Anyone who has ever met Mistress knows what that sounds like. How can one refuse Her when She commands you like that. Well, I persevered and said that I was really afraid to tell Her, because She would find it ridiculous. She comes closer to me and says: “I will help you a bit”. Her hand first starts squeezing my balls and the next minute I feel a very sharp pain in both my arms. Mistress attached two tiny but extremely severe clamps to my skin. “You know that eventually you will have to tell me anyway, so you might as well do it now”, says Mistress. I feel that I am starting to become emotional. I have such an intense feeling of love and devotion for my Mistress, it is unreal. I had already told Her about my feelings towards Her some time ago. I try to utter the first words as my eyes become watery. I am afraid that if I tell Her this, She might reject me or disapprove.  “Mistress, I would like to marry You.” The words are out, and so are a few tears that are now dripping over my cheeks. “Nice!” That is all Mistress said while removing the terrible clamps from my arms. “Really? I was afraid that You wouldn´t approve of that Mistress”, I reply. “Well, I have no control over your feelings, slave”, She responds. But actually She does. She controls me in every way thinkable including my emotions. She can break me with a few simple words or gestures. Mistress subsequently unties my ankles and I am to follow Her to the hallway.

There She instructs me to take off Her high black boots and stockings. The latex skirt is also removed and so is the corset. There is a zipper at the front of the little top Mistress is wearing and She tells me to open it. Her gorgeous breasts pop out from under the tight latex. Eventually I am even allowed to remove Her undies. She is now standing in front of me completely naked. Her beautiful body is towering over me as I am kneeling on the floor, folding Her latex clothes. “You will now wash me, slave”, says Mistress. Wow, I am actually allowed to wash the sexy body of my Goddess! I am allowed to touch Her naked skin! We walk towards the bathroom. I humbly kneel down in the shower, open the tap and make sure the water has pleasant temperature. Then I carefully wash my Owner´s entire body. The body of a Goddess is like a temple and so is my Mistress´. Her skin feels so incredibly smooth and soft. I gently touch Her breasts, slowly I move downwards to Her belly, next I rinse Her back, Her beautiful bottom, superior legs and dinky feet. I take a towel and very cautiously and gently dab all the water from Her skin. Afterwards I help Her get dressed.

We head to the Old Town to have lunch. Afterwards Mistress wants to show me the fur store where She and Her new slave bought that magnificent mink and fox coat She is wearing right now. For me it is hard to keep my eyes off Her but while walking I notice that almost everybody who approaches us looks at Mistress with amazement. Both men and women are completely blown away by Her appearance. She looks stunning clad in the furs. Mistress tells the shop assistant that we would like to look at the coats. They have an amazing collection there. Mistress notices a knitted rabbit fur jacket with fox trims. She wants to try it on. Automatically I reach for Her coat and handbag. She doesn´t have to instruct me on these small details, I always try to be there for Her at the right time. I watch Mistress with anticipation as She is putting the jacket on. The moment the fur wraps around Her body, something changes. Mistress gets a different look on Her face and radiates royalty, superiority and divinity even more than usual. I look at Her and immediately think that She must have this garment. It suits Her just so perfectly. I try not to show my enthusiasm and ask Her if She likes it. Of course She does so I buy it for Her. This is the second fur coat Mistress got within a week .

**Please note intimacy or my nudity is NEVER part of my professional services and as such cannot be expected or demanded**

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From B.´s journal – part 9

November 22, 2012

When Mistress accepted the key for my CB more than half a year ago, She would first only lock me up when we were together. On a couple of occasions She would hide the key somewhere in my house before She left for Prague again. I would start looking for it in the next days. Once I found the key, I was allowed to use it and unlock the chastity device. The third time Mistress actually took the key with Her. At the airport She even showed me that it was in Her purse. I remember being glad about that, because She had saved me a lot of frustration that way. She could have just let me look for it for a couple of weeks instead. These days I am locked up almost constantly. It´s hard to ignore the fact that I am not in charge of my own cock anymore. When I walk, I hear the sound of my Prince Albert piercing tapping on the edge of the tube, when I go to toilet, I have to take extra caution. In the morning the pain of my morning erection wakes me up.

Recently Mistress had sent me a few of Her videos to work on. She wanted me to make short clips out of them and upload them on Youtube. Before I could make the clips, I had to watch the entire footage of course. I had never seen my Goddess in a video before so was surprised how much I got turned on by it. She is so beautiful and the way She is in the videos is the same as She is in real life. She does not act at all. When I think about being able to masturbate two weeks ago, I now kind of regret that I did it. It may sound strange, but being reminded of how nice it actually feels makes it even harder not be able to do it now. Somehow by allowing me to get the occasional release She has got me even more frustrated, because then I am simply more aware of what I´m missing. Actually it would not be that bad if I was not constantly turned on, but I am very aroused, even if She is not around. Sometimes it crosses my mind that She is having all the pleasure She wants without any restriction and I fantasize about Her having sex with other men.

Besides the fact that it will take another week before we meet again, I am also not too sure if Mistress will actually release me this time. I have made quite a few mistakes recently, some of them major. All the offences are kept in a document Mistress and I share, so there is no chance She will forget about them. She also told me that She noticed how I work a lot harder for Her since she started locking me up for longer periods of time.

November 30, 2012

Residenz Avalon Berlin

“Do you know what time it is, slave?” Mistress asks me. I have no clue. “It´s 7.30 am”, She says. Wow, that is really early. It´s a good thing that I was put to bed early last night. Mistress is already fully dressed and wearing make-up. “Go and take shower, but hurry up, you have got only ten minutes. Afterwards you will prepare breakfast”. Mistress commands me when we arrive upstairs. Just as I exit the shower and start drying myself off, I hear a bell ringing outside the bathroom. Next Mistress opens the door and tells me that the time is up. I quickly put on my collar, ankle and wrist cuffs, make a fire in the stove, prepare tea and put the breakfast on plates. Mistress got changed in the meantime and now looks very hot wearing a black leather top and a pair of ultra-short leather hotpants that accentuate Her wonderful, round bottom. Her slim legs are covered with fine fishnet tights. She sits down on a chair while I humbly kneel besides Her and hand Her the cup and plate. Mesmerized and amazed I struggle to take my eyes off the Mistress.

After breakfast I´m instructed to take Mistress´ bag and follow Her to the school room. I am still struggling to learn the Czech language so She will now test my progress. I feel tension building up in my naked body as I stand there opposite my fully clothed cane-wielding Mistress. Her dominance radiates from every cell of Her body. She grabs a piece of chalk and starts writing various sentences on the blackboard. I have to translate them. I also learn a few new Czech words such as “to report”, “hell” and “to confess”.

Next I follow the Goddess to the basement. I suspect we are going to the confessionary but instead Mistress takes me to a small alcove and ties all my limbs to the rings in its walls. As soon as I´m totally immobilized, She shuts the door. I´m always a bit anxious about what Mistress will conjure out of Her bag full of torture implements. I have the feeling that this time will be particularly tough for me. My thoughts are interrupted when the door reopens. I look down and see how Mistress slides something over my rock hard penis. Is that? Oh my god, She is holding a scalpel! The blade is scratching my member and I get really terrified. I start trembling. I try to move away so that She can´t cut me, but I´m too late and I see a small drop of blood on top of my penis.

What is She doing? How far will She go? I am always the one saying that there are absolutely no limits, but does that mean that She will actually? I´m having trouble keeping my thoughts in order and get more frightened every second. Mistress forces me to confess to Her, but speaking is even more difficult than thinking at the moment. I stammer and stutter and eventually manage to tell Her that I had spent some of Her money on a new navigation system for the car without obtaining Her permission first. The sharp blade scratches my erect penis some more and I see another small drop of blood appear. It slowly travels down the shaft and forms a red line. I am completely helpless and at the mercy of my Owner.

Mistress urges me to confess more and I now tell Her that not only did I spent Her money on something for myself, I also wasted a lot of Her time by watching pointless YouTube videos. All my free time is supposed to be spent working for Mistress. Mistress is very displeased to hear this confession and threatens to make a real deep cut now. “I am so sorry, Mistress”, I plead.  Mistress drops the scalpel and instead grabs a lit candle from the chandelier. She moves it really close to the head of my pierced cock. I can feel how the metal ring is now getting hot. In fact it burns like hell. Mistress moves the flame away for a few seconds but then repeats the act of torture a few times more. A bit later She unties me and orders me to follow Her. Speechless, broken and meek as a little lamb I humbly walk two steps behind Her.

We arrive in another room where Mistress lifts my arms and secures them to some chains that hung from the ceiling. Slowly I come to my senses but have no idea what is about to happen. In the corner of my eye I see how Mistress picks up a single tail whip from Her bag. She disappears from my view and takes position behind me. The first couple of times She hits me very gently.  She lets me get used to the feeling first. However soon the warming up phase is over and the blows start to become harder and harder. Mistress reminds me how I disappointed Her. I know I have to be punished. Every stroke of the whip leaves a red mark on my bottom and legs. I feel really sore. Fortunately Mistress takes a short break at some point and comes back into my view. She is now top-less and is teasing me with Her magnificent body. My eyes are almost popping out from their sockets.

Then the blows to my buttocks start again and become ever harder and fiercer. I notice I´m now really starting to get into the pain. The taste of the whip is now pleasurable so I spread my legs further apart and lift my arse to invite the blows. “Legs together and stand straight”, commands Mistress. Apparently She noticed my enjoyment so She increases the force even more. It hurts really bad right now. I try to keep my voice down and stay calm. Then, at last, Mistress says it is enough. I think this was the toughest beating She has ever given me. My entire arse and upper legs are swollen and covered in dark stripes and bruises. She unties my hands and I thank Her for punishing me. I am grateful and once again follow Her as She heads to Her bedroom upstairs. Every time I enter this wonderful red room, it strikes me what a difference there is here in Avalon between the beautiful room for the Lady and the damp, dark cell for the servant. Mistress comfortably lies down on the bed and I humbly kneel on the floor. I am once again given the extraordinary privilege to be allowed to pleasure my Queen.

**Please note intimacy or my nudity is NEVER part of my professional services and as such cannot be expected or demanded**

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From B.´s journal – part 8

October 15, 2012

I am only allowed to read a couple of femdom related websites these days. Mistress told me some time ago that She didn’t want my mind to be poisoned by all sorts of extreme ideas. She prohibited me from viewing any bdsm content (websites, books, movies) without Her explicit prior approval. Recently Mistress hinted that She might ban one of the few websites that I was still allowed to visit. I wasn’t happy about that first but this morning I realized that the fact that She wanted to take away something from me was more important than the actual value of reading that particular website. This made me decide to voluntarily give up on reading it. It will give my mind more space and time to concentrate on my Owner and my Owner alone. So no more personal femdom related blogs from now on, except, of course, the one written by my Goddess.

November 10, 2012

Tomorrow is our first anniversary, so I have decided to invite my Mistress for lunch at a three-star Michelin restaurant here in The Netherlands. It is called De Librije and it is about an hour drive from my home town, Utrecht. My Mistress is very fond of fine dining and so am I. We share quite a few likes, preferences and hobbies, which is what makes us such a good Mistress – slave couple. We arrived early so we had a cup of tea in a nearby bistro; or rather, I should say, Mistress had a drink and I went to found a proper parking space. When I picked Her up, I paid for Her tea and, before we left the cosiness of the café, I made sure Mistress was wearing Her fur ear-muffs and leather gloves as it was chilly and windy outside. I feel it is my responsibility to make sure She´s comfortable at all times. When we entered the restaurant, we were rather impressed by the classy ambience. We enjoyed a very nice starter of crayfish and shrimps but then Mistress excused Herself to the restroom.

When She returned back to the table, She was in a very strict mood. “Why didn´t you tell me that there was a bit of lip gloss on my nose?” She asked in an irritated tone. I didn´t know what to say. Obviously I had screwed up again. In the meantime the main course arrived. Her strictness all of a sudden disappeared as She dipped Her index finger into my beetroot sauce, made a dot on my nose and burst out laughing. “Now you will need to sit like this till the end of the lunch”, She informed me, completely overwhelmed by the hilarity of the situation. I accepted the punishment as I always do, but fortunately Mistress grabbed a napkin after a minute and wiped the sauce off my nose.

Mistress and I always have a lot of fun when eating out. Recently we visited a very nice fish restaurant in Amsterdam where Mistress forced me to eat a tiger prawn´s eye and had a good laugh over my comments how crunchy it was. My Mistress can´t stand boring slaves so I do my best to keep Her entertained in any way possible. When we arrived back to Utrecht in the afternoon, Mistress decided to get changed into casual attire and pay a visit to a local adult store. She thought it would be a good idea to make me get a penis extender and instruct me to have sex with Her while wearing it. That way She would get pleasure while I wouldn´t feel anything. We didn´t really find what we were looking for but the shop owner asked me to come back the following week to check new stock so I put it on my “to do” list. This list contains tasks that were assigned to me by Mistress.

November 11, 2012

Today I was cooking for my Mistress while She was sorting out my clothes. Unfortunately, the scallops were watery, the plates were cold, the salad dressing was reduced to plain vinegar, and the salt cellar was missing on the table. I´m afraid all this will be added to the list of offences, that contains my mishaps and mischiefs. I get punished for most wrong-doings in the sessions but Mistress also tells me off each time I displease Her. We also planned our trip to Berlin in 3 weeks time. We will spend one night in Residenz Avalon, followed by another two nights in a beautiful hotel apartment that Mistress has chosen. We are very thrilled. Three weeks is a long time though, so fortunately we will also meet at the end of next week. I find it very difficult to cope when Mistress is not around, so I´m now even considering relocating to Prague to be closer to Her. I am completely enchanted by this magnificent Woman. I think She has placed a spell on me.

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